my baby is turning 3 today.  i had a hard time sleeping last night.  for some reason this bday has affected me so much more than 1 or 2 did.  i just cannot believe she is 3. where has the time gone already?  my little angel has just gotten so big and is so not a baby anymore..lol.  i miss the baby days.  harper is such a gift.  she is the most darling little thing and she has her momma just wrapped around her little finger. i mean how could you say no to that face right?  she's my little buddy and comes with me everywhere.  she's so precious and i just can't wait to see what 3 has in store for her.

i have spent a lot of time in thought since xmas about this blog, my creative passions, goals and of course, my family.  what and how to balance my time, energy and attention to and when.  i haven't succeeded in finding the answer but we're slowly getting there.  i don't want to miss the last 2 years i have home with her. i want to cherish them because once she's in kindergarten that's it.  that part of my life with my girls is over.  as much as it is exhausting and challenging i love being able to work from home and be with my girlies.

over the last few months things have changed a bit.  i feel the urge to have some more "evening" time free for me to create instead of being on the computer.  i want to spend time with my husband and i want to have time to actually sleep...lol.  this blog has been such a special and important part of my life and it's not going anywhere - i'm just trying to find a new balance that allows me time to have a healthy home life with my girls, time to take care of myself with exercise and healthy food, time to design and create and of course, time to document it all here with all of you. i hope you all understand and have continued to enjoy the blog this year so far as my family and i transition into a new phase of my dreams and goals.  this momma has to shift things around a bit to make sure i'm not spread so thin i can't enjoy any of it.  my health suffers and so does my family life.  blogging is damn hard work (more than i think 70% of the population is aware of) and mixed with being a full time mom it leaves little left over.  i swear i work more than my hubby :)

my little harper has helped me to realize that i need to balance things better or before i know it another year will have flown past in a blink of an eye and most of it will be spent with mommy and daddy working instead of us all having quality time together. i hope i can try to succeed at least a little bit in all the areas i would like to.  i want to put quality content out here on the blog but i also want to work on my other goals of pattern designing and books.  i hope you'll join me in the journey.  it's so amazing to know that so many of you have been reading since mackenzie was a baby and throughout all of harper's journey.  there is something so amazing and special about that feeling.  i truly love and appreciate every one of you for reading and for being my friend.  thank you from the bottom of my heart.

and to my little girl - mommy loves you. to the moon and back and the stars too.  may all your wishes come true my special angel.

any of you in the same boat with struggling to balance it all? are you an emotional bday person too?  please tell me i'm not the only one doing serious reflection and crying on my toddler's bday..lol.