See that bright pink cast? Yep - you guessed it, my oldest broke her arm - well her wrist to be exact. She's had a cast on since Oct. 1st, when she fell off the monkey bars at school and broke it. How's she doing? She's doing great! She's been such a trooper and so very brave. How have I been doing? Well...to be honest....her injury was one of those moments in life that will forever be etched in my motherhood memories.
If you look at the date she broke it some of you may have already realized that I was in Vancouver on the way to Knit City. That's right. I wasn't there. You know that fear as moms that we have when we leave them that we will miss something important and not be there for them? Yep, that's the one. I was on the ferry going from Victoria to Vancouver when I got a phone call from our school's vice-principal stating that my daughter was going to be taken in an ambulance to the hospital and all I could hear was her crying and screaming in the background. It was horrible.
The fact that I knew I was on a ferry and couldn't turn around, the fact that my daughter needed me and I couldn't be there, and the fact that I knew I couldn't even go back home until after Knit City was over (3 days later) just about killed me. The mom guilts got me bad. That whole day I literally just cried. Thankfully her wonderful teacher rode with her in the ambulance and stayed at the hospital with her until my husband arrived. I am so grateful to her for going out of her way to be there for my baby.
Her bone was a clean break so she had to be put out to have it reset and I think that was the worst part for me. Not being there to help ease her fears or hold her and make sure she knows it's ok was torture. I did phone about a gazillion times to the point of annoying her I think...lol. I worried about her every minute of all of those days that weekend. Not about her care - I knew my husband was doing a fab job handling it all (he's fabulous and so calm in these situations, which I'm not...lol) but I worried that until I saw with my own two eyes that she was ok I wasn't going to be able to fully accept in my mind that she was indeed ok.
I usually do a recap post about Knit City but I just felt like after all of this I didn't know how to write it when the weekend was filled with so many emotions. Knit City was amazing! Seriously - this event is top notch! We had an unbelievable time and it was such a joy to be there in that wonderful community and to get to see all of you! And I am so thankful for all the support you have all shown for our books and patterns. Especially to my Bradway Shawl. It was a weekend filled with very special memories that I will never forget! But what I'm most thankful for was for all of your hugs of support, the help keeping my mind off my injured daughter and for helping me to stay strong for her.
In life we learn many lessons and one I learned that weekend was that sometimes things are just out of our control (and I hate not being in control...lol). That you have to roll with the punches and make the best of the situation and trust in others. I had to trust in the doctors, my hubby, & my family & neighbours, that my daughter was going to be ok and that even though I wasn't there in person, I was there in every other way I could be.
I had to dig deep and find a way to be strong not only for my daughter but also for my business partner (who was there for me & cheered me up even though I was a bawling cry baby for hours). I thank my journey of meditation and mindfulness for that. I have learned so many things since starting my path this year that I really saw for the first time my mind and body come together to help deal with this experience in a way that I never would have before. I processed my emotions and feelings in a whole new way. I meditated each morning I was gone and it was such a help in dealing with everything that went on that weekend and to help calm and centre myself. I was able to fully experience and embrace the joys of that weekend even though I was still worried/sad and upset about my daughter.
My daughter has been learning to meditate right along with me and she used some of the things she's learned to stay calm and be brave all throughout this. It's helped her to cope with the "itching arm" (you all know that if you've had a cast) and the frustration that comes along with not being able to do all the things you normally can do. She's amazed me with her resilience and strength and how she hasn't let that bright pink cast slow her down one bit. If you're wondering why there aren't the typical signatures all over her cast it's because she wanted to keep it this way with just the picture of "Dude Itcher" on there. My hubby drew him on to keep the itches away. It's worked wonders so if you've got a kiddo with a cast and itchy arm - try him out...;)
I've shared a lot about my journey of motherhood on this blog over the last 7 years and as I've been home the last few weeks I knew that I had to share this post and document this experience. I know I don't show a lot of the behind the scenes of my kidlets on the blog anymore, and this post isn't about knitting or sewing, but it is about me and my life and I felt like it was something I wanted to write about. I really wanted to say thank you to those who helped my family and thank you to all of you who came out to Knit City and supported us this year - it truly means so much to us.
Here's some of my fave pics from the Knit City weekend! Most are from the Knit City 2015 hashtag on Instagram and a few are from my phone :)
I hope you all had a great time at Knit City too and I can't wait to see you all again next year! Thanks again for all the support, good times, laughs and hugs!